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My sister was wearing a very skimpy string bikini, it wasn’t a thong, but it was pretty damn close. They both proceeded to enter the living room which both gave them full view of my topless mom directly above me. They obviously knew that I could see her changing and they both just laughed. My sister looked up into the loft and said, “Hurry up mom!” My mom looked down in the mitts of putting her top on and saw the three of us staring at her topless. She had her bikini top on backwards and was buckling in the front. “I am hurrying you guys!” My mom responded as she was , spinning around and pulling her bikini top up, over her breasts and onto her shoulders. At that moment my sister yelled out, “Did you get new boob job Mom!” My dad chimed in, “She sure did, don’t they look amazing! At that point I still have yet to put my bathing suit on and everyone was wondering what I was waiting for. My mom had finally come downstairs and said, “Hurry up and change Tram!” At that point I decided to. "What about the Chinese?" they said."Well who's going to run the chip shop?" I replied and they saw my point."What about the Muslims," they asked."Better than the fucking Jehovahs witnesses, and what about the fucking Moonies and Scientologists, most of them are Pedo's." I told them, anyway by dinner time twenty people said they would vote for me and the rest said they wouldn't vote BNP even if there wasn't any other candidate, so reminded them voting was Friday, a day later than anywhere else because it was a day off for the Muslims."And if you don't like the BNP write summat nasty like "Fuck the BNP," across ballot paper," I suggested.I don't remember the election, I had ten pints at dinner time and a few more after tea and we went down Town Hall, I sort of slumped in a chair and then after a lot of fuss the results were announced."Ah hem," some weasly little council git said and woke me up, "Mr Althwaite would you please come and check the spoiled ballot papers." Why?" I.
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